Vast Amounts of Knowledge

Credit: Hellomynameisbasil on DeviantArt

Professor Palentia

“Let go of me!!!”

I turned away from my charming companion to see a jubilant Mr. Hurderer carrying a feeble, irritated little girl who seemed to be entrapped in his giant arms. He put her down gently and patted her bleach-blonde pixie-cut hair, much to her displeasure. She spiked her hair back up without much difficulty as Mr. Hurderer introduced her.

“Hey everyone! This is my old friend Tiffany! She’s coming with us...” a disgruntled Tiffany interrupts him.

“No, I will NOT be joining, I do NOT want to know you, and I want my drink!” She slams her fist on a nearby table, clearly a bit tipsy and scaring a local family. Mr. Hurderer seemed to be used to this kind of behaviour and just ruffled her hair, a common act of affection done by him.

“Come on now Tiff, it’ll be fun! There will be fighting, partying, and, maybe I’ll buy you a couple of drinks if you’re lucky,” he winks at her. She rolls her eyes, annoyed but looking more interested. Seeming as though there was going to be an awkward silence (previous experiences left me scarred and with an uncanny sense for these moments), I decided to introduce myself officially.

“Hello, ma’am. I’m not sure if Mr. Hurderer has already mentioned me but I am…” I started to say before she cut me off.

“Ugh yes of course I know who you ARE. Professor Palentia, the brightest student of his year, special know-it-all and teacher suck up and now, one of the most notorious professors of Harvard. You were always the most perfect one,” she scowls at apparent unpleasant memories. I was shocked into silence at her reaction. “And you even got…” she stopped herself mid-sentence before looking down, her sharp cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

Mysterious Lavender

Can you imagine what would happen if we could have anything? Seriously, think about it. A world where every person got every wish they ever wanted. No boundaries, no restrictions, and no consequences, not even a joking punch in the shoulder. At first, it may seem daunting to test the waters. Take a leap to actually try anything. Then, society would start to become more relaxed. Loosen up those tight shoulders and do whatever they want. Everybody’s wish would come true and no one would be unhappy… But.

What if you were killed by someone who didn’t want you there before you could make your wish? What if there was no hard work needed to be given glamorous rewards? What if the only thing that you were responsible for was waking up and going to sleep? What if everyone had the partner they desired or the partner they thought they desired? What if you were with someone but you knew they only loved you because you wished it so? What if you started to remember that everything about this life was only because you had wished it so? Would authenticity even exist? Would anything be genuine? Would you be able to be happy about anything? Some questions to think about… be careful what you wish for. Anything could happen to you at any time. Right here. Right now. Just a quick tip on life.

Professor Palentia

Me??? How could I have made someone so upset? I spent all of my days in the library studying philosophical literature and psychology research analysis. I barely had any friends, I thought to myself, confused at the uncomfortable situation that had been brought upon us. Shaken, I respond to this insult with what I hoped was a calm demeanour.

“I apologize for any misdoings I must have done towards you indirectly,” I explained, hoping to regain some dignity but she shot me down.

“You were always the perfect one. I got so close to all your marks yet YOU were somehow the favoured one. Whatever, I beat you in OTHER areas,” she glanced over at Carol who looked confuzzled while she chugged a large glass of Corona beer. Leading up to that moment, Mr. Hurderer had been just standing there awkwardly twiddling his thumbs but he stepped in.

“Hey hey, alright, let’s calm down. We’re only just beginning this great adventure! Let’s not ruin it with the past, shall we?” he put his massive arms on both Tiffany and I’s shoulders, causing us both to buckle under the pressure. I couldn’t agree more, especially with the amnesia of what I had done.

Mysterious Lavender

A long time ago in a faraway mindset, an 84-year-old man was off to his interview when he saw the local idiot atop that building. We never did quite get to hear the ending of that story…Oh! Have I interrupted something? Ugh, I really must stop doing that. Terribly sorry but The Interview is quite an interesting story. Perhaps if we have time afterwards… Ah well. Back to where we were...

Mr. Hurderer

Apparently, bringing Tiff hadn’t been the best idea, but it gave Carol another girl to hang out with and a badass lesbian at that. Perhaps Carol will change her mind about heterosexuality then… No matter. If I keep persisting, I’m sure she will. After all, I am the great Mr. Hurderer and no woman can stand staying straight around me.

I pondered why bringing Tiff had been a good idea before shaking it off. The more the MERRIER. I had Prof. Bruschetta on my left, Tiff on my right, and Carol Ren following close behind as I started walking towards an open booth to discuss our future mission together…

T

The local idiot scratched his head, clearly confused by what vault I had been talking about. He looked at the ground as he tried to remember, squinting his eyes and making several attractive faces. “Do you mean the one from the news repo…”

He looked at me, eyes wide, and headed off in a northwest direction.

“Hey wait up!” I yelled, worried that Vivian wouldn’t be able to keep up and that he was going in the wrong direction due to the bank’s location being behind us. Nonetheless, he blundered on until there was no choice for Vivian and me except to follow. He took us down dirt roads that seem to lead us nowhere but still new areas, he took us into buildings that had only been reinforced 30 years ago, and he took us to go uphill and down and someplace where it was both. Following him, Vivian and me could only barely keep up but when we stopped, I recognized the house.

It was the 84-year-old man’s.

Mysterious Lavender

Thank you ladies, gentlemen, and non-binaries. Your time has been precious to me and I hope your afternoon is a pleasant one!

Keep smiling and all will be okay :)