The Actual Story. Maybe.

Here we left off on a rather unfinished note, and I apologize on behalf of the local idiot. Well, you see he wouldn't actually apologize because he wouldn't understand what went wrong, but it's the effort that counts. Now to continue on the actual story...

With all four of them wielding a mixture of magical and non-magical weapons, the local idiot finally realized what was happening and proceeded to head for the door but Lou stopped him with a quick snap of her nunchucks, barely grazing his stomach.

"You're not going anywhere," she silently whispered, her eyes ever-fixed on the stairs.

"Why noooooooot?" the local idiot complained, continuing to speak at a lower volume but still above a whisper.

"You're a witness now. Too much information. We need you for evidence," she replied, her short sentences implying she wanted to take action.

"...fine."

The local idiot, now remembering that 4 dishes were still being cooked at the same time, turned around to see that 2 of them were on fire, one was boiling over, and another gave a vicious squeak. He wasn't sure how that last one could happen, yet he got shivers spiking through his spine.

"I'm going to COOK," the local idiot hollered as he rushed towards the nearest one to the right.

"...and make sure this place doesn't burn down because of unfinished dishes," he mumbled to himself, thinking about the embarrassment that would ensue if he didn't cook these at least decently. He desperately grabbed the handle of the frying pan and began flipping it in hopes to quench the flames.

This lead us into our unexpected announcement of the new hot flash sale happening right now at our newly built Kawartha Diary’s Ice cream after a dreadful tsunami. Home to our beloved dog Blorgous, we seem to have lost contact with him for quite a while after he ran after a sausage that looked like him. No worries here, I’m sure he’s in safe hands. Back to the sale, if you buy 3 large ice creams topped with little pandas, you can get a chance to win a free watermelon/sausage Popsicle! No extra tax included, and a question was asked from the listeners as to whether these specific popsicles are the same ones from the Watermelon Sausage Festival held almost a year ago… Perhaps, but not confirmed. Now back to the local idiot and the main plot...

While he started dealing with the meals, Vivian had sensed a change in position upstairs.

"Quiet," they communicated, their bubbly self hovering over Lou's shoulder. They proceeded to create a time bubble around the kitchen and the local idiot and his mutterings of ingredients and how he'd be late for his disliked job were muted. The sizzling and pops of the cooking dishes were also halted, and it became apparent that the whistling from upstairs had stopped. As Lou slowed down her heart beating, the members of the Unarmed Peace Police Department pressed themselves against the wall while Grandma Raeyechaeyelle proceeded to lift her umbrella up to her shoulder like a rifle. Time seemed to slow down and the silence was so thick you could hear a ladle scoop soup.

Lou signaled for the two members to go around outside and watch any windows for movement while she began to make her way silently towards the staircase. They agreed and blundered through the front, creating a ruckus. Lou rolled her eyes as Vivian shook it's delicate body in disapproval. Grandma Raeyechaeyelle Wondoe agreed to go explore the fireplace and started scanning the area for DNA. Lou jumped up onto the first trophy case, her hands and feet landing as softly as if they were paws. Ms. Wondoe looked mildly surprised but this wasn't the weirdest act she had seen Corporate do. Lou could see that the stairs went up for quite a while but on the opposing wall, there were pictures of the Wok's family history. He was closest to the bottom of the stairs, but as Lou continued to jump from trophy case to trophy case, criss-crossing each time, the pictures got more and more disturbing. One was holding a tentacle in their hand and had their claw around the hard shell of an alive lobster. Another was holding a leash that had a human at the end of it, looking disturbingly like Hitler's ghost. As they continued up the stairs, Vivian got word that the others were in place and conjured a protective metal spike ball around them.

They reached the last step and Lou graciously landed softly on the old wooden floor. Looking around, immediately in front of them there was a bathroom that looked like it had been used for a training base for war with blood stains in the bathtub. The hallway curved to the right where in the corner there was a closed door to the left and a closet to the right. There seems to be something oozing out of the closet, and the carpet that only starts from in front of the closet and continues to the right looked worn and holding some sort of bubbling substance. Continuing to the right, there seemed to be a lengthy hallway that the end couldn't be seen from where Lou and Vivian were crouching. All seemed silent except for the now squelching noise of the liquid coming from the closet that did not at all seem safe. Vivian first decided to explore the bathroom and Lou had her nunchucks at the ready.

Entering the room, there appeared to be a closet to the right where normalish toiletries were kept and only the occasional rat's tail could be seen. A towel was hung on the left and further in, a sink and mirror was also to the left with the blood-stained bathtub/shower to the right. By further inspection, it looked like it hadn't been used in the past month. Just as Lou was about to turn to get out of there, a hand-sized spider crawled out of the drain and looked at her. Unfazed by this, Lou and Vivian left the bathroom, but little did they know, you should never underestimate any living creature...

As they approach the next room and the liquid-soaked carpet, Lou suddenly sensed a trigger being pushed and extremely fast mechanics starting to fire off.

Terribly sorry for this rude interruption but whoever owns the Ford Escape hover mobile should be cautioned that it is about to be overrun with Mr. Flur Shreddy’s overwhelming episode of the “sad” and should not be upset should it be stolen in 4.65 seconds. Keys can be found in the Lost and Found located where everything is lost. ANYWAY, back to you Lou...

"Duck!" she screamed as she planted herself face-first into the liquid. Vivian tried to float down as fast as they could but too late. A quick fire of darts shot from the closet but bounced off harmlessly off of the metallic shield. Smelling them, Lou determined they had been full of poison and were slowly covering the hardwood floor and approaching the carpet that she lay on.

"Let's move," Vivian communicated urgently, the poison spreading.

The two of them slipped into the dark room to the left and shut the door, thankful that it went from the floor to the ceiling. A TV screen flickered and buzzed to the left, casting an eerie mood across the room. The light being given off wasn't enough to actually see, just enough to cast shadows around. With the loss of sight, Lou quickly reverted back to her early days of training and set off sniffing the full place. There was a door to the right and a giant bed in the center, still too small for Mr. Wok. Curiously enough, atop the dresser, there lay a giant divot and as she leaned over, she could just smell the remnants of a short body cowering. She held her nunchucks protectively in front of her and approached it.

'What are you doing here?' she thought quietly to herself as she examined the creature's living environment.

"Please don't hurt me!!!" a short ruff from a dog's voice was heard, his voice ringing a bell in Lou's database of familiars and language class.

"Blorgus?! From Kawartha Dairy?!?" Lou stumbled back in surprise as she recognized his adorable bark, lowering her weapons.

"Yeah. It's been a while," Blorgus barked, clearly relieved for it to be someone he knew.

"What are you doing here??? I thought you were up for adoption?" she asked him, clearly confused as she put away her nunchucks and pulled him out from the hole he had been dwelling in.

"Well, remember when that tsunami hit years ago? I ended up seeing this street with no Kawartha Dairy, no collars, and no responsibility. It looked like freedom. I was up for adoption for a bit, but I decided that I wanted to be an independent individual. so I tried to find a place to spend the night and guess who turned out to be a kidnapper..."

Blorgus looked around, his eyes clearly adjusted to the darkness of the room and his head and tail held low in fear.

"Well you're safe now," Lou confirmed, petting his ruffed and dirtied fur to reassure him. He seemed to lean into her hand.

"Thank you," he whispered softly, almost sounding like a whine.

“Just letting you know they rebuilt the store, though it’s now called Lakes of Milk…” she quietly murmured.

“WHAT?!?!?? That’s just a variation of the original na…. Nevermind. At least I have a home to go back to,” he grumbled.

“Come on. Let’s figure out this mess and get you home,” Lou said reassuringly, putting on the best smile she could muster.

Lou nodded towards him and gently took off the backpack she had brought, grateful that he could fit. She gave him a couple of biscuits from downstairs which he gratefully scarfed down and proceeded to scan the room. Vivian looked like they had been having a rough time and was hovering quite close to the floor.

"You alright?" she asked them, wondering if they were experiencing some other-worldly senses.

"I'm fine," they signalled. "Just taking in a lot of information at the moment. You don't have the only problem in this town."

Lou decided to leave them to their mind and tried to open the door and found that it was unlocked. Going through, she immediately noticed that the window had been smashed in and the cool breeze of the night wafted through the hole. Her senses suddenly sensed a hint of danger and she flattened herself against the wall while holding her nunchucks to her chest. Vivian was still almost laying on the floor near the entrance of the other room so they weren't in danger, but she could not ignore the wave of anxiety that consumed her. As she peered into the darkened room, only lit by the light of the moon, a blur of darkness moved behind an indistinguishable object. In a blink of an eye, Lou hurled herself almost impossibly behind the object and lashed her nunchucks out at the stranger. Impossibly, a glint of a blade parried her light-of-speed blow and the figure moved, seemingly slinking into the shadows. This was a common trick of thieves, but Lou had trained with the best. With the strength of a grizzly bear but as fast as a cougar, she reached out to grab the stranger's hood but was again avoided. This hadn't happened since her first months of training, and was quickly growing suspicious of yet another familiar face. In a surprise attack, the hooded stranger quickly slashed their weapon towards Lou, the blade being revealed as a Sai while she tried to remember where these moves looked familiar.

Ching

Clash

Clang

They kept fighting, their speeds unmatched by any other human, yet somehow both of them remained unscathed. As their weapons continued to meet, the style of fighting became more and more familiar. In a curious instant, Lou grabbed their hood as a surprise and she saw a headband around the man’s head, designed in the way she used to tease him about. In the moonlit room, her eyes adjusted enough to see similar styles of clothing to a man she once trained with in 2003; from her earliest days of fighting. The flick of the stranger's ying necklace brought his identity to a full circle.

“T?” she murmured, half expecting him to forget all the memories.

He stopped, recognizing her voice and his hidden name.

“L?” he whispered, starting to tremble with emotion. She sighed, thankful that the fighting made sense now and she wasn’t going soft.

“It’s me,” she exclaimed.

“It’s been years… How are you?”

“Fine, though I don’t understand why you are impeding on my mission.”

“Do you know each other?” Blorgus yelped from inside the bag.

T suddenly became defensive, his stance lowering.

“Yeah, we’ve been friends for a while,” she said in dog, while T looked curiously at her bag.

"My friend Blorgus. He's been trapped here under Wok's watch," she explained, being wary that he knows her actual name. "What have you been up to?"

“I’ve been undercover solving mysteries and crimes for the past decade. Wow look how much you’ve changed,” he marvelled at her new cunning abilities and looks.

“Thank you, but now’s not the time to have a reunion,” she scowled, her hardened face in it’s usual state.

“Fine… but when this is over we have to catch up,” he stated, no room left for question.

“Fine by me,” she stated, taking in the surroundings now that her eyes had adjusted.

There was a large rug that covered most of the room with burgundy and dark brown patterns swirled on it. The door that had been seen from the stairs was just to the right and it seemed that they were in some sort of twisted living room.

Large heads of mysterious animals hung like trophies above the far wall, facing two couches that seemed broken and with springs sticking out. At a closer look, it would appear bones had been shoved underneath hastily in order to cover them up, and a couple of them looked like human bones. Lou signalled for T’s specialty skill at unhinging doors quietly but he was already working on it, lowering the door down to the ground. Vivian had started to feel better and had floated over to where we were. T had a small panic attack and nailed the wall with one of his numerous hidden knives but Vivian didn’t flinch.

“They’re a friend,” she whispered harshly at him, flicking his arm irritated.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

Once the door had been lowered, we snuck into the hallway and looked down a very long hallway. At the far end, there was one single door that was slightly ajar; the perfect answer to where Mr. Wok had disappeared. Lou nodded at T who had already started to blend into the wall, an ability only granted to the highest level assassin in their specific academy. She went to the right wall and Vivian stayed in the center of the hall, floating angrily towards the ever-far-away door.

“This is so cool…” Blorgus whispered from within the depths of the bag, an audible munching noise following.

“Yeah, but don’t get used to it,” Lou whispered back, knowing how hard she had to train to even get into the academy. T had drifted into the top left corner of the walls, slinking into impossible corners and being impossible to the untrained eye. Vivian still bludged through, not seeming to mind the suspense as they continued on this narrow, dark hall, their joyful smile still plastered to their face like a permanent tattoo. Lou felt herself lose concentration from the main task at hand and proceeded to concentrate all her efforts into blending back into the paint-stripping wall. They continued to pass several doors, each one holding a new story within its hinges. The temptation for Lou was great, but her focus was glued to the one specific mahogany door in front of her that seemed to never get closer. In fact, they were moving farther away from the door…

Hello everyone. You should remember me. I declared myself your new master not too long ago. Your Master ShAgY is here, with your first mission as my newly made slaves. Pray to me that you last longer than my last ones. You must travel to the Ancient Runes of Delmore to recover something very dear to me, too much more than your indistinguishable lives could ever offer me in a lifetime of servitude. It is guarded by… well that would ruin the fun wouldn’t it? Just… make sure you bring crossbows, and maybe a wad of gum. THAT. IS. ALL.

Sorry guys, I keep getting these massive blackouts followed by headaches. I really must check the due dates on these Advil bottles. Unfortunately, I have to go attend a dinner with one of my best friends, Mr. Hurderer, and if I’m even a second late he will have eaten all the food and vanished so tata for now.

Thanks for listening to me blabber on, take care of your precious bodies and minds and remember, keep smiling and all will be okay :)