Astounding as it sounds, the new 500 Skinerator shrinks those who have trouble dieting or have “big bones”; an excuse used once for Olympe Maxime to lie to Rubeus Hagrid about her heritage. It compresses the space in between molecules to allow the person or object to expand or shrink as they please with a click of a button. The affected area will be a circle right where the stomach is located to pronounce excellent execution.
“As it turns out, lies don’t get you very far in life, but may be necessary sometimes” a middle-aged, 5”6’ sober, long brown-haired, intimidating, handsome local man with a messy headband look that was put over his hair and ears, the wrong way, concluded after interrupting Wondoe’s interview. His clothes gave him a sense of style but the headband threw off the cool look he was trying to display. When further questioned, the man gave Caitlyn Rebecca Beach, commonly called Becca and one of our numerous and expendable expensive experienced local reporters, a devastatingly frightening look and replied, “Some people have backstories you would never expect, Caitlyn.” While he said this, A faint glow started to emit from his ying necklace hanging around his neck, a feature that once blended in with his composure. Becca looked shocked, an unexpected abnormal response from her usual strict face. Even though Becca had never given out her first name, nor has anyone called her that since she was 18, it is custom and normal for interviewees to learn names quicker than most, so ends this connection of her being distraught. No, this came from something within, some hidden meaning intertwined with past recollections. Her eyes started swimming with the tears of her past, and she had to turn away. Presently, no one else has been brave enough to interview him so he remains unquestioned.
Explaining the Skinerator 500 is a complex and difficult task which is also the property of the government. The blueprints have been forcefully taken by the FBI and some fancy men in Black suits and ties and one edgy cool looking assassin who called themselves S.H.I.E.L.D. which don't look like people to be messed with. Its secrets are hidden within the bank of Gringotts in vault 713 if anyone is interested in retrieving it although this is not an official demand from this universe, as I would personally get in trouble, but if I was, the reward would be worth it. Seriously, if I were to actually make a public announcement about this, I would love to rediscover and live the secrets of the Skinerator. I don't know how marvel and Harry Potter are cooperating, but they have succeeded in hiding the blueprints which are extremely important. Ms. Chaitea lost at least 20 lbs using this technique within a month. It could be a revolutionary machine.
Of course there is nothing else on those blueprints, none at all to which the entire world could be resting it's existence on. There is no other private drawings that I may have doodled on the back of them while I was bored. None to which may relate to a certain something, or someone.
Annyyywayyss, I must be off, the local idiot is waiting for his delicious burrito from the Denny's that I work at and it's been at least fifteen minutes. Take care, and remember that I absolutely did not offer a reward worth the risk of looking for some very important blueprints in Gringotts in vault 713 that was taken by some scary tall men and one ninja boss girl. Definitely did not. Take care of yourselves and don't forget "keep smiling and all will be okay" :)