On an afternoon stroll, with a mask of course due to the recent outbreak of beer virus, the local idiot turns left onto a road that hasn't been discovered yet, and to his knowledge, didn't exist before he looked that way. There is only two houses on this road, and one is rotated onto its side, with the only entrance to the house through the roof. Curious, the local idiot approaches the door, only to feel a cold, spicy wind waft directly into his nostrils, filling him with nostalgia. Three curt knocks provoke a loud intangible yelling coming from the back of the house quickly storming towards the door. The local idiot should feel fear, but only experiences raving hunger. A dog howls in the background. As the hinges swing open, the local idiot is met with the most peculiar face he has yet to meet, and that accounts for a lot, considering his recent move to university and the crazy heists that occur.
The creature's complexion changes from a snow white to night black all over their body, and holds the confidence of a top notch chef, matching their tall chef hat. Their clothes are a combination of a dirty black and red XXXL long-sleeved shirt with a hood with a surprisingly spotlessly clean white simple tank top matched with satin shining black pants that come up to their calves, creating a sharp composure but laid-back clothing style. Their black, curled, knotted hair is intertwined with dozens of gold and silver trinkets and rings, and they sway with the wind, even when the wind is absent. A white and black almost raccoon-like face is in the middle of chewing what looks like a leg, but, as the local idiot is unsure as to what sort of leg it is and does not want to be rude, he smiles widely, almost too widely, and graciously bows as he introduces himself to the massive 7 foot 2 animan (a merge between animal and human since their gender is non-specified).
The creature looks down upon him, then, with a swift wave of their right paw (their left arm still a human hand), invites the local idiot inside. What his eyes see do not match the appearance of the odd house outside. A huge room that seems impossible is defying the laws of physics with its massive space and immediately surrounding the local idiot is a wondrous sight. Covering the left wall from top to bottom is a giant volume of trophy cases filled and awards and certificates, all related to the culinary arts. There is a staircase going upwards, yet on the outside the house didn't look that tall. On the right-hand side of the house, the local idiot's stomach growls, never to be satisfied by instant mac n cheese again. A kitchen, so large that it engulfs practically the entire room with it's boundless chopping tables and electronic devices that have not even been invented yet. The wall can't even be seen behind the several cupboards that the local idiot senses are filled with all different types of ingredients, and some still alive. As the local idiot takes in this grand scene, the animan has somehow teleported over to the nearest stove top and continued yowling away, stirring so fast that the hand cannot be followed by the human eye. There appears to be 4 different dishes being cooked at the same time, all in different places, and yet whenever the local host looks to see if the animan is there, they appear to be working intensely and undistracted simultaneously in all 4 spots. Clearly the animan seemed busy, but the local idiot wanted to learn more about this interesting new neighbour that appears to not have existed until just 10 minutes before, though due to the timers on the ceiling, it appears that it has been 3 hours. The local idiot sees three chairs by a fireplace with a large steaming pot on top off to the left underneath the stairs and sits in the right one. The animan, though seemingly embodying several spirits at once, sits calmly in the centre one and assumes a constant stirring position. From here, they introduce themselves...
Once but a simple outcast lost in the insults and lies given to them about their appearing visage, their determined culinary passion and rise in the ranks gave them their nickname "Wok". No one actually remembers their real name except for themselves and their best friend's uncle's daughter's hamster, Nostalgia, whom they developed a special connection with over a March break. The hamster has been sworn to secrecy and can be seen working out intensely on her spinning wheel regularly, awaiting the day to use her master skills. While their black and white appearance may be threatening, their professional status and never-ending thirst for new recipes invite guests to their not trademarked well-known restaurant "Wok's Man Chew", which they refer to as being the only other building on this road. This is a common place for our well-known reporter Becca to hold interviews for unknown individuals in the hopes of gaining more knowledge about their past. This is also the place where she questioned the mysterious handsome local man who remains unquestioned to this day. M. Wok remained serving their customers while keeping their ears open for any gossip, but they were unwilling to share anything they had heard.
This just in, the hot sale that had been ongoing for at least a year beside the local Denny's shrub has now closed for a little while, due to the evergrowing pandemic and rush to buy toilet paper instead, not for the bathroom, but to see if their hot sauce really could start fires.
Back to M. Wok's story, they ask the local idiot whether or not they are at least part animal and, as the local idiot always keeps his lucky rabbit's root on him, he answered yes. They proceeded to tell the local idiot that they have won the secret-non-human-MasterChef twice now but have been told that if revealed to a true human, their company would be banished from existence and memory, as if there never had been a secretive non-human MasterChef competition. Promptly, they appeared to scratch their head and ask the local idiot what they had been talking about. The local idiot, a bit preoccupied by the pot in front of him rupturing and roaring, abruptly yelled "BROCCOLI" and Wok appeared to become sleepy and girlish and all of his other beings disappeared for a brief moment before waking up again and resuming duties. Out of the corner of his eye, the local idiot spotted none other but the now-skinny Raeyechaeyelle on her phone chatting away about her newest job at Denny's, the local idiot's current job but he had been thinking about quitting for a while now. She was standing by one of the Woks right by the fridge, completely engrossed in her current conversation.
Undisturbed by this, Wok continued to talk about their recent accomplishes such as developing a spatula that could easily turn into any kitchen utensil you needed or winning the Sunderland Food Festival's pie eating contest for yet the 33rd time, but the local idiot wasn't listening. He was more intrigued by the subtle high-pitched whistle that seemed to be coming from upstairs. Wok, now acutely aware that whatever was upstairs was making noise, dashed to the stairs and climbed their massive body up at least 100 flights in 5 seconds, no doubt beating any world record but the local idiot had already sent a telepathic message to the Unarmed Peace Police Department. Moments later, our beloved Blorgus' seventh cousin 4 times removed's adopted grandson's aunt's brother's former roommate's father's ex-husband's goldfish's soulmate breaks down the door followed by Gayâ„¢Iconâ„¢ with a potato gun, both of them not realizing the other was part of this specific Police Department and standing for 3 seconds staring at one another before recovering their shock. M. Wok definitely sensed their presence because from upstairs, a bellowing roar could be heard, giving off a slightly aggressive stance. Grandma Raeyechaeyelle, who had been in the middle of cooking her infamous sauce, quickly pulled out her extremely pink umbrella that shimmered from being infused with magical properties and prepared for the worst.
Whilst we await new orders from Corporate, take care of yourselves, and don't forget "keep smiling and all will be okay" :)