A straight murderer named Hurderer felt spurred to cure a peculiar transferred monsieur named Flur Shreddy. His voluntary years of personal research on this fella earned him a national title of NOT GAY BUT MAYBE A LIL GAY BUT NO ONE KNOWS YOU'RE GAY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GAY at the Pan Am Games Centre in 1969. Mr. Shreddy was diagnosed with the 'sad' several years ago ever since his husband Sweatie Shrekky Shreddy passed in an unfortunate occurance. On July 26, of who knows what year, Mr. Sweatie Shrekky Shreddy accidentally recreated the wonderful reminisced meme of the potato flying around, but not just recreated it, he elevated it to a new level. You see, in my personal opinion, noodles should be eaten. Mr. Sweatie also liked fans and noodles... May he rest in grease... pieces!.... PIECE.
ANYWAY, Mr. Shreddy took this in with the highest of praise and congratulated Hurderer the murderer with a tap on the shoulder with a 39 and a half foot pole (even though the legal limit is only five feet apart for all same sex not-gays). It was at the tallest building where the Idiot presented the largest sausage and two giant watermelons that won juiciest taste at the fall fair to Hurderer the murderer, a born League of Legends player, parents bound to Singapore, a french-speaking not-professeur, a five-minute Subway eater, a learner of the computers, and so much more. Way more. Like you have no idea how much more. As @Ren stated, "...fat". No butt.
The research discovered revealed that Mr. Shreddy (Flur) had a regular daily life except at night, when layers of personality were peeled back and skins were revealed. Several of them had been purchased from the U of T Bookstore for $20 with fancy designs and coloured blue but the best ones gave off a vague red aura. These could be viewed all throughout the night... Mr. Hurderer used several techniques to keep his spirit and body going after it had almost left this Earth on multiple occasions. He could be seen consuming vast amounts of nonsensical information in order to keep his brain from the realization of what his life had become, and the impending doom that he could never go back to that innocent baby stage. His habits were engulfed by his colleagues at a prior studying cult and these memebers include, but are not limited to: Carol and nobody else.
Mr. Hurderer could be found in his basement with all of his new spying gear valumptuously gorging his massive stack of dried grapes, sultana, not currants: RAISINS. This gave him the strength and power to overtake impossible boundaries. For instance, the now resistible urge to function as a human being for 31 hours without eating, sleeping, (rumour says breathing). As the rising factor of Mr. Shreddy's state of 'sad' began to become more severe, there was only one solution that could end it all. The hardest conclusion to come to. The most difficult to do.
.
.
.
Hurderer the murderer must Share. His. Raisins.
If anyone is curious the town is doing wonderful although today is the Watermelon Sausage Festival! You can just teleport in anytime and if you miss it, just hop back a couple of days! We are featuring our new and improved mystery meat half sausage and juicy watermelon popsicles. On sale now for only half of a soul! Join us for a lovely stroll in sausage world.
Tune in next time and remember, keep smiling and all will be Okay :)